Life is a Highway

For several years, I moved through the city via transit. At that time, I found myself much more in touch with the city as a whole, with its feeling and movement and changes. I used to glance curiously at people on the street as I walked or drove by, or subtle observe others on the bus when they weren't paying attention. Slowly, I think I have gotten into the habit of retreating into my own mind when traveling through this city. I no longer feel a curiosity when it comes to this city and its people; maybe I've become jaded.

 I think that in terms of movement, I very much go with the flow of this city. I follow major thoroughfares, I never take detours, and I never explore. I always wish I had that desire to go looking around this city, just to want to wander. Many of our classmates have talked about taking a leisurely drive or bike ride or walk; I don't know that I ever truly do these things, at least not on my own. I do things with purpose; if I'm going for a walk, I'm walking my dog. If I am going for a bike ride, it is for exercise, and if I am driving, it is to get somewhere to do something. Of course, in theory I should be able to multitask, to absorb this city while doing these activities, but somehow I never seem to. I envy those of you who have the gift of not being tightly wound.

When I am in nature, I find myself changed. I have a desire to explore, to test boundaries, and to have new experiences. I spent my childhood on an acreage, where I had minimal supervision most of the time, so running around in the woods feels natural to me. When I moved to the city, I'm not sure if I ever learned to be comfortable and curious in the same way. I think that is why I love the river valley so much; when I'm there, I lose some of the sense of constraint that I feel in the rest of the city. A few weeks ago in my Asian Canadian Lit course, there was a phrase describing a city street as "brown earth screaming beneath its concrete shell" (sorry, I don't mean to plagiarize, but I can't find what book it was in!). That is often how I feel about this city. The rare time I slip out of my absorption in daily life, I like to imagine what the ground this city stands upon looked like before we were here. It must have been beautiful.

Just over the Horizon

So we are just 4 weeks into our adventure of English 380, and the question has been put: How do I feel about the course so far?

Well, I'm enjoying it, that's one thing for certain. The two authors that have come to speak with us have been very entertaining and informative, and the same goes for all the readings we have done so far. But despite this, I feel more distance now from Edmonton than I did at the beginning of the course.

I suppose the foundation of this feeling comes from the novels and maps and pieces we have looked at so far. As I said before, I have enjoyed them enormously, but when looking at the maps, I discovered the amount I didn't know about many areas of the city. Both "The Edmonton Queen" and "Coyote Kings" tell stories of minority groups in Edmonton. I certainly understand the importance of stories of minority groups, and I found it fascinating to learn about two worlds in this city that I have never had extensive contact with.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm unsure of where I fit in this city now. Before the course, I knew; I'm actively involved in both my neighborhood community and in the university community, and I dabble in the Edmonton arts scene through my dancing and friends performances etc. But with this new information about these extensive sub-communities in Edmonton, I'm feeling somewhat displaced; like my story doesn't have a definitive space in this place. I can relate somewhat to the locations of the stories, but my sense of those places is widely different from what has been discussed in the novels and in class.

I'm sure this problem will reconcile itself shortly (I'm only two pages into Garneau Block, and Babiak has already mentioned my high school with the same sense of biting disdain that I hold so dear to my heart), but for now I'm feeling somewhat...unanchored.

Minority Report

The question of minorities in Edmonton is a difficult one to answer, as interpreting minority spaces is all about perspective. Many Canadians feel that multicultural attitudes of the Canadian government have made Canada a wonderful place to be for minorities, but many of those minority groups would attest to being neglected and culturally subjugated by the dominant culture. Of course, the issue of queer minorities in Canada brings in a whole other level.

I think there has been a lot of progress in the city in terms of accepting different minorities since the 1980s. There are many programs now to help new immigrant groups adjust to their new environment, and many ethnic groups have created micro-communities within the city , which provide support for both new immigrants and long standing Canadian citizens with diverse ethnic backgrounds. I think the same could be said of the queer community in Edmonton, though perhaps not as overtly. This is not to say that there are not still strides that can be made in terms of acceptance and support in this city, but at least we are making progress.

Unfortunately, I am not very conscious of the presence of the queer community in my day to day life. Although I have always considered myself to be an ally in the struggle for the development of the queer community in Edmonton, this past week has made me realize that I am extremely out of touch with the real queer community in Edmonton. I don't know if they own a particular place in the city, at least nothing comparably to Hagen's "Flashback". Certain ethnic groups certainly have dominance in different areas of the city; Little Italy, Chinatown, and Mills Woods in terms of East Indian population, to name a few. But other than the gay bars, I am at a loss to name a particular area of Edmonton where the queer community dominates.