Historical Edmonton

If I were to make an archive to represent my idea of Edmonton, I would probably include:

1.) Letters from Hudson Bay Company in the area from the founding of the Fort

2.) Photos of the opening of Old Scona Academic High School, which was the first home of the University (and is also my reluctant alma mater)

3.)The first Gateway newspaper

4.) A list of Edmonton residents who died in WW1/WW2

5.) Darrin Hagen's book.

Nobody said that the archive had to make sense. Just saying.

Other Shoes

"You've got to be taught
To hate and fear,
You've got to be taught
From year to year,
It's got to be drummed
In your dear little ear
You've got to be carefully taught.

You've got to be taught to be afraid
Of people whose eyes are oddly made,
And people whose skin is a diff'rent shade,
You've got to be carefully taught.

You've got to be taught before it's too late,
Before you are six or seven or eight,
To hate all the people your relatives hate,
You've got to be carefully taught!"

- Lieutenant Cable, South Pacific; music by Rogers & Hammerstein

In my youth, I wasn't afraid of anything. Not heights, or bugs, or strangers. The world was my oyster, and despite a few broken bones, it seemed it would stay that way. But innocence is not forever. I don't know when it happened, or how long the change took, but eventually I began to be afraid, perpetually cautious in my surroundings. I worry about falling every time I walk down some stairs, I'm freaked out by snakes, and most significantly, I felt trepidation when I encountered homeless and high risk individuals in Edmonton. Don't be misled by the quote above; I wouldn't identify my feelings as hate, more an distrustful nervousness. As I said, I don't know how these feelings came to be. Many people rationalize it as self preservation, but I have never personally had a negative experience with someone that I would have identified as homeless; I have no personal reason to be afraid. The musical I quoted above tells that racism is something which we learn from those around us: our families, our peers, and the media. I think this applies to the homeless, and to the racial associations we make with that group of people. It is a lesson I wish I had not learned. I wish I could go back to my childhood and walk the map I created for this class, one which encourages the walker to forget their presumptions and look around at the people who really call this city home. I wish had the ability to record my thoughts as a 7 year old walking that map to preserve those prejudice-free thoughts.

    In past years, I have worked on changing my views, and I think I've succeeded to a greater extent. I no longer feel fear downtown for the most part and I don't find myself profiling people based on preconceived notions. Some people who I have discussed this issue with think that I'm naive, that my apparent bravado will surely get me into trouble. Personally though, I would rather go through life without fear and judgment bubbling just below the surface, and view the world with the clear eyes of youth.

(P.S. South Pacific is a great musical, I recommend you see it. But don't watch the movie unless you have a lot of time and patience. And Red Bull. Basically, I recommend a live version.)

 

Where the Wild Things Are Sometimes

It is easy to complain about lack of nature in Edmonton, but the fact is that we live in a city, and as far as cities go, I actually think Edmonton is doing pretty well on the nature front. Most places in the city attempt to integrate trees and plant life into urban settings, and I believe overall this is done fairly well across the board, with the exception of some of the industrial areas.

I have previously ranted extensively on the virtues of our river valleys, so I won't bore you by going into that again. One feature I have noticed myself focusing on is tree lined streets. I am in the middle of an apartment hunt with a friend, and every time I find an apartment, I immediately go to Google street view to see whether there are trees along the street. The street I live on now does not have them, but somehow it has become one of my key criteria in finding a place to live. I was even willing to accept living in a particularly shifty part of town just because the street had trees.

I like being able to see nature in my everyday urban existence; I think it's healthy for people. It keeps you grounded in reality of the world around, serves as a reminder of the importance of sustainability, and I also think it helps with seasonal affected disorder. Can you imagine going through an Edmonton winter without seeing trees or the river valley or squirrels or hares? Now that would really bum me out. So thank God and City Hall for the wonderful trees!

C-c-changes.

What has changed for me this past month?

I think the most surprising thing so far for me was the collection of poems we looked at by Alice Major and those by Erin Knight. Major and Knights' works both implicitly compare Edmonton to the great historical cities of the world, and for me, this is surprising. In fact, I find it slightly presumptuous. This is a young city, and I believe, as Lady Gaga says, that we should "respect our youth". It is true that Edmonton is a great city; but we don't have the same history as the cities Knight and Major as contrasting us with. We have a history, but it is a young one, one that is very very different from that of Rome for example, and while this does not necessarily make us inferior to the aforementioned city, I'm not sure that drawing those comparisons is a responsible way for writers to present Edmonton to the public.

I think what this has confirmed for me is that a dominant part of our discourse about the city is shaped by envy of other places. I believe this city is unique, and that that fact needs to be respected. This is not to say that we need to ignore the success of other places, but those poems seemed like a stretch to me from what Edmonton's real physical presence as a city is. I don't find Edmonton that mystical, but these views points have been very interesting, though I'm not sure I can articulate my exact feelings on it yet.

Big Sky Country

Currently, I'm sitting in a hotel in the great state of Montana, specifically, in the city of Missoula (btw, its +4 here. I never want to leave). You may wonder why I'm in Montana; I myself thought the same when my plane landed this morning. Back in Edmonton, I work for the U of A Students Union with the Orientation program, so they sent me here for a conference on increasing student engagement through Orientation. Because it's on my mind, that's what I will be venting/blogging about today.

I know that being involved in the university isn't technically part of what this course covers, but on Tuesday there was a brief discussion about how important the University is to Edmonton, and I found myself a little disgruntled at the end of it. I recognize the importance of the University, first and foremost, as a hub for academic activities, but it really should serve other purposes, like providing experiences outside the classroom and the opportunity for social engagement. As someone who is very involved on campus, I wonder a lot if the University is really as important to people as they say it is. I know that there are lots of different ways to get involved on campus both within and without the Students Union , but I know that I'm right when I say that most students on this campus don't take advantage of these opportunities. The current practically uncontested Student Union executive elections are a good example of this lack of student engagement. To be fair, the organization needs to step up it's game in providing events and opportunities that are relevant to more students, but students are also a part of the problem.

At the University of Montana (where I am currently situated) the majority of students live on campus, and this makes a huge difference in terms of involvement. The students here take enormous pride in their university, and it shows! When is the last time you felt proud of your university? In my job, I often have conversations with students who say "Orientation is lame and useless", or that the Students Union doesn't provide for their needs. However, when I push them on it, the majority of these people have never attended any of the events and are just forming their opinions based on rumors. It's sort of the same way that people view Edmonton. They don't bother to get out of their cars and actually experience the uniqueness of this city, so of course they think that Edmonton doesn't have anything to offer them.

We talk a lot in this class about communities, and about shaping your own space and place within this city. I don't want anyone to get me wrong; I'm not calling the class out as lazy, I know a ton of you are involved in various ways around the city and probably campus, I'm just trying to vent my general frustrations with the severely apathetic student body. What people need to realize is that this campus is a community just like any other in this city, one that is absolutely worth getting involved in. I'm sure many people are skeptical about student activities or the SU because of various things they've heard, or maybe they have legit objections to how the system works. If this is the case, then I put forward that you do something about it. "Be the change you want to see in the world". It is not hard to get involved; organizations on this campus are constantly begging for volunteers if you are willing to listen.

I guess my point is this: Throughout this class, Heather has been trying to inform us of our environment so that we won't write Edmonton off, so that we will be proud of our city. I'm asking that you consider doing the same thing for your university community. Don't write off involvement, whether its in a club, student group, charity organization, faculty association, anything. Don't be that stereotype of the uninvolved apathetic student who deems that they are too cool to care. The wonderful thing about getting involved is that you become a part of something that is bigger than just you, something that makes you see your life in a different way.

I apologize for the ranting nature of this post, and I know that some people may write it off as a bunch of jibberjabber. Please don't. Getting involved on with this university change my life for the better: I have an amazing social network of people I never would have met before, I've learned a ton, and I feel a sense of ownership and responsibility for this campus that makes me proud to come here everyday, that makes me stand up for it when others say negative things. I am loving my university experience, and I hope you all are too. And if not, I hope you will consider what I've said, and make a change so that you come out of university with more than just a degree and some leftover textbooks.

Life is a Highway

For several years, I moved through the city via transit. At that time, I found myself much more in touch with the city as a whole, with its feeling and movement and changes. I used to glance curiously at people on the street as I walked or drove by, or subtle observe others on the bus when they weren't paying attention. Slowly, I think I have gotten into the habit of retreating into my own mind when traveling through this city. I no longer feel a curiosity when it comes to this city and its people; maybe I've become jaded.

 I think that in terms of movement, I very much go with the flow of this city. I follow major thoroughfares, I never take detours, and I never explore. I always wish I had that desire to go looking around this city, just to want to wander. Many of our classmates have talked about taking a leisurely drive or bike ride or walk; I don't know that I ever truly do these things, at least not on my own. I do things with purpose; if I'm going for a walk, I'm walking my dog. If I am going for a bike ride, it is for exercise, and if I am driving, it is to get somewhere to do something. Of course, in theory I should be able to multitask, to absorb this city while doing these activities, but somehow I never seem to. I envy those of you who have the gift of not being tightly wound.

When I am in nature, I find myself changed. I have a desire to explore, to test boundaries, and to have new experiences. I spent my childhood on an acreage, where I had minimal supervision most of the time, so running around in the woods feels natural to me. When I moved to the city, I'm not sure if I ever learned to be comfortable and curious in the same way. I think that is why I love the river valley so much; when I'm there, I lose some of the sense of constraint that I feel in the rest of the city. A few weeks ago in my Asian Canadian Lit course, there was a phrase describing a city street as "brown earth screaming beneath its concrete shell" (sorry, I don't mean to plagiarize, but I can't find what book it was in!). That is often how I feel about this city. The rare time I slip out of my absorption in daily life, I like to imagine what the ground this city stands upon looked like before we were here. It must have been beautiful.

Just over the Horizon

So we are just 4 weeks into our adventure of English 380, and the question has been put: How do I feel about the course so far?

Well, I'm enjoying it, that's one thing for certain. The two authors that have come to speak with us have been very entertaining and informative, and the same goes for all the readings we have done so far. But despite this, I feel more distance now from Edmonton than I did at the beginning of the course.

I suppose the foundation of this feeling comes from the novels and maps and pieces we have looked at so far. As I said before, I have enjoyed them enormously, but when looking at the maps, I discovered the amount I didn't know about many areas of the city. Both "The Edmonton Queen" and "Coyote Kings" tell stories of minority groups in Edmonton. I certainly understand the importance of stories of minority groups, and I found it fascinating to learn about two worlds in this city that I have never had extensive contact with.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm unsure of where I fit in this city now. Before the course, I knew; I'm actively involved in both my neighborhood community and in the university community, and I dabble in the Edmonton arts scene through my dancing and friends performances etc. But with this new information about these extensive sub-communities in Edmonton, I'm feeling somewhat displaced; like my story doesn't have a definitive space in this place. I can relate somewhat to the locations of the stories, but my sense of those places is widely different from what has been discussed in the novels and in class.

I'm sure this problem will reconcile itself shortly (I'm only two pages into Garneau Block, and Babiak has already mentioned my high school with the same sense of biting disdain that I hold so dear to my heart), but for now I'm feeling somewhat...unanchored.